10 of the Most Totally Obnoxious Gym Goers You’ll Ever Meet
It’s 5:00 a.m. and your alarm goes off. Do you hit the snooze button? Or, are you one of the few who hop out of bed, throw on your workout gear and head to the gym for early morning cardio? Enjoy it. We’ll be here drinking coffee when you get back.
The world of fitness has grown by leaps and bounds as healthy living habits increase in popularity and span everything from vitamins and protein shakes to gym memberships and sunrise yoga classes. Everyone is learning how important it is to stay in shape to have a better quality of life. This means, that gyms are more popular than ever before, bringing in more memberships and a new set of issues for gym goers: more (obnoxious) people.
If you’ve been to the gym lately, perhaps you’ve run into the weightlifter who claims he’s an expert. Are you in cycling class with the queen of selfies and social media? Despite the fact that most people prefer to work out alone, the popularity of gyms makes solitary workouts difficult, especially with obnoxious people like the weightlifter and selfie queen. But, these aren’t the only two gym goers who are likely to hijack your workout; we found 10 totally obnoxious gym members who literally drive health nuts well, nuts! See if you can recognize any of these people the next time you hit the gym!
#10 – The Bodybuilder
From ripping muscles and popping veins to tight spandex shirts and tiny waists, bodybuilders are the easiest to spot as these muscle maniacs are truly insufferable! Don’t get us wrong, not all bodybuilders are bad but, the ones who stand in front of the mirror flexing and bragging are obnoxious! In fact, the bodybuilder often looks for any opportunity to brag about his “max” lifting weight and will often show you his hulk-like strength by asking you to spot for him as he twirls weights around like a baton! Obsessed with putting the “pro” in protein, bodybuilders are all about competition and showing off, an easy feat when your body bulges simply by breathing!
#9 – The Grunter
Did you hear that? Who let the bear in the gym? Meet The Grunter, the gym goer who is first heard long before he is ever seen. The grunter wants you to know he’s pumped up and working hard during his workout by shouting every single time he lifts a weight. In fact, as soon as you hit the gym floor, listen closely for the grunter as he sounds like The Count from Sesame Street played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Once you hear him, pop those earplugs in because he’s going to count his reps again…and again…and again! Of course, it’s natural for a little noise in the gym but sounding like you’re passing a kidney stone every time you lift a weight is unnecessary. In fact, we’re fairly certain grunters are the reason for gym music, earphones and even meditation!
#8 – The Networker
“Oh my gosh! You use the same elliptical that I use! How cool is that? Let’s meet up later for a smoothie!” Have you heard this before? If so, you’ve met The Networker whose idea of a good workout at the gym involves pumping up her contact list rather than any iron. In fact, telling the networker “no” is often pointless as she is trying to sell or promote something – be it her expertise, a product, who cares! To make matters worse, if the networker isn’t bugging people at the gym, chances are she’s on her phone giving a play by play of her workout to some poor soul on the other end of the line. Who cares if you’re walking three miles per hour on the treadmill; just be quiet or go home!
#7 – The Hoarder
Mine. Mine. Mine. Oh, and that’s mine too! Welcome to the world of The Hoarder who treats the gym like a game of “Pokemon” and won’t rest until he’s collected every possible item needed for his workout within a five feet radius. The Hoarder refuses to take a chance that one of the 40 dumbbells in the 20 pound section won’t be available in 10 minutes even with only a handful of people in the gym. Don’t believe us? Take a look behind the elliptical and you’ll find a dumbbell hidden for when The Hoarder is finished with his cardio. Just do us one favor: don’t ask to borrow it or he’ll bite your head off! Besides, aren’t there like 40 other dumbbells in the actual weight room?
#6 – The Filthy One
Remember your college roommate, Steve, who made a habit of leaving his boxers hanging from the ceiling fan, left empty milk jugs in the refrigerator and refused to take out the trash? Well, if Steve was a gym goer, chances are he would be known as The Filthy One. Unlike The Hoarder who gathers the entire gym nearby, the Filthy One gathers everything he needs but never bothers to put anything back in its place. That’s right! When you stub your toe on a dumbbell or can’t seem to find the right bar for your next step, the Filthy One is to be blame. There’s no use trying to find him, though. Chances are he’s long moved on to another mess.
#5 – The Selfie Girl
One, two, three, duck face! “Snap, snip and share” seems to be the mantra of The Selfie Girl as she snaps, edits and shares duck-faced selfies while working her way aimlessly through the gym. While The Networker is interested in meeting and talking to people, The Selfie Girl would much rather you jump on Instagram or Facebook and like her last selfie. Have you seen her? She works out for about 10 minutes total and spends the rest of her time looking in the mirror fixing her makeup, readjusting her spandex and updating her social media pages with the latest selfie status! Don’t worry about photobombing this girl, she’s got a wicked eye for anyone standing in the way of those pouty lips!
#4 – The Thief
The gym is packed and there’s one treadmill that just opened but it has a towel draped on it which, in gym language, means that it’s already taken. But how? You’ve been waiting for five minutes and there’s no one to be found! Take a look over to the other side of the gym, see the guy lifting weights? Meet The Thief; that’s his towel. In fact, he was “just about” to use the treadmill so you better back off. Good luck, though. Chances are that The Hoarder has the rest of the gym packed in a corner. One of the most obnoxious gym goers, The Thief feels entitled to all of the equipment, all of the time even if The Hoarder is hiding it!
#3 – The Smelly One
Hurry up! Someone get this guy some soap! You smell him before you see him and avoid him it all costs. You know exactly who we are talking about! That’s right, The Smelly One is the guy who smells like he ran a marathon before getting to the gym and only gets smellier after he’s been there for an hour and a half. It’s hard to exercise within 100 feet of The Smelly One without losing your lunch which, come to think of it, might be a new way to shed a few pounds! Either way, The Smelly One’s sweat-stained yellow shirt is more than enough to kiss any appetite or workout goodbye!
#2 – The Creeper
As The Selfie Girl snaps duck-faced photos, she has a silent fan watching her parade throughout the gym, The Creeper. In fact, once you spot The Selfie Girl, you only need to look just a few feet away to spot The Creeper. These guys are on the lookout for “talent” while they decide what to try next. If he’s not nearby, The Creeper is probably lazily lifting weights at the back of the gym and staring at the girls in yoga pants. True to form, he rarely talks to anyone or makes any noise so as not to scare away the eye candy or give off his true intention. Since unwanted attention is his greatest fear, it’s no doubt that he treats The Grunter like the plague!
#1 – The Clean Freak
Mr. Clean joins the gym with a pocket of Lysol and a bottle of Germ-X, fighting back those nasty weightlifters one germ at a time. While there are plenty of sanitation concerns at a gym, there are supplies to clean the equipment before and after each use. The Clean Freak, however, takes this to a new level by bringing their own cleaning supplies to the gym. From frantically spraying down The Smelly One to cleaning up after The Filthy One, we can’t help but appreciate The Clean Freaks’ efforts to make the gym a more sanitary place. Oh gosh, just a second! You missed a spot there to your left. No, your other left!